Tis' the Season for My Love and Dislikes

I have a love/dislike relationship with the holiday season. 

Being an only child and a self proclaimed black sheep I have rarely ever had the big holiday gatherings that I have dreamt of. I rarely get invited to gatherings and when I do, I rarely want to go. I usually avoid gatherings as to avoid my own personal "awkward black girl" thing. To me, the actual holiday itself is usually disappointing, mostly because after eating the meal or opening the gifts the rest of the day is boring. Most people I've been around during the holidays tend to retreat to their designated corners to tinker with their gifts, take a nap or watch T.V. Honestly, I don't know what I expect.  

The stress that comes along with the holidays from having to uphold your end of the "bargain" by giving gifts or being appreciative when receiving a gift gives me a headache. I don't want gifts for the holidays. I want something more. I'm still uncertain as to what. I do know that it is filled with warmth, sparkle, warm fuzzies and holding hands. I'm a dreamer. I dislike feeling as if I need to get something for people on a certain day. I feel like this mostly because life is already stressful enough without having to remember to buy a gift and to get the gift right. Have you ever stood in the middle of a mall trying to figure out what to buy for a person with no clue of where to start? I'm sure I may be a bit biased in my stress because shopping is just not my thing. I'd rather take a cold shower on the coldest day of the year with my heater broken. Speaking of gifts, sometimes they are just not in my budget. I'm more concerned with what's on my budget like, making sure my kid can take dance lessons or saving enough money so I can update things in my house or finally giving my family that awesome vacation that we deserve. Can't we have a holiday day where we give love instead of stuff that cost money? Is it possible for this to exist and people REALLY just be appreciative of the moment instead of how many items they receive or what someone else brought to the table?  Give me gifts on my birthday. Those are fun.

We have been so conditioned to expect things due to the commercialization of holidays. I love the holiday decoration, the traditions, my own beliefs for the season and the spirituality that comes with the holiday time. I love the goodwill towards men. I love the holiday spirit. While the actions of others to give toys, food and other items to collection organizations give me the warm fuzzies, the stress that is put on parents to find these places, qualify to get the items and in some cases, swallow their pride to wait in line to get the items makes my heart hurt. Why does this even have to be a thing? I mean...I get it...but geesh......I dislike the commercialization.

After all of this, yes, I dislike when the holidays are over. It's so sad to me that all of the decor comes down. I get a little misty eyed knowing that I can't just turn on the radio to hear Christmas music. I often wonder why the kind gestures from people that come from being in the holiday spirit goes away. Can you imagine what an awesome world we could have if we stayed in the "holiday spirit" all year. I do like that we can get back to our regular schedules and that my businesses slow season comes to an end. Happy Thanksgiving Eve. Appreciate your family and take it easy on yourself. Don't let others expectations, determine your expectations.